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Iwas so desperate I even investigated other occupations, but there wasnothing. Every door was slammed in my face, old friends smiling wan,empty expressions and turning away, shaking their heads sadly. There wasnothing for me except the torment of the DeMarcco hell, and there Ireturned, to work under the gaze of the bland, self-satisfied Mistress'face, my every gesture one of pain to me. I was frequently beaten; don't let me lead you to believe otherwise.But it developed that the beatings were not the worst of it for me. I ama strong woman of independent means and I had always valued my freedom,and I bore the belief that hard and honest work would enrich and prosperme, which, when coupled with my determination to better my condition,all worked against me now. Here at the DeMarcco's I was a slave, not aservant. Here I was not a respected and valued employee, but a drudge,hired for menial tasks that only served to further debase my ego. At first it was the beatings I feared most.. Now only if I were rich so I wouldn’t have to that wretched place McDade’s Hardware. I leaned over and traced her cheeks with my fingertips. As I sighed, I started thinking, why was I not in love with this gorgeous woman? Why on earth would I be curious about sleeping with another man? That’s right, even with a gift from God like this one I was bi-curious. It started when I was a freshman in college, playing ball then showering with other men, I thought it was just a phase, my college counselor and pastor agreed. However, as time wore on the thoughts didn’t leave my head. Watching “Brokeback Mountain” with Sasha last night didn’t help either. She was so happy that I was so comfortable in my sexuality and agreed to watch it with her. Little did she know I was more excited about the movie than she was. She even commented on how it would be a turn on to have a boyfriend that was bi and of course like the proud hetero Native American/black man I am, I said I would never do that but of.
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